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So you're walking down a lonely dark street deep in the night when, suddenly, you hear a voice call out from a nearby dark alley: "Psst, kid. Over here. Gingerly stepping closer, you squint your eyes and tug self-consciously at your deliciously small schoolgirl skirt and uniform, and you see it's just some seemingly helpless hobo sitting on the ground.

Naively, you walk over and ask, "What's wrong. Wow, you're sexy. Are you hurt. But the tentacles are too fast and they grab you around your long womanly legscreamy smooth thighs, lithe voluptuous waist, delicate soft armand it tightens around your vulnerable and slender throat, then the monster begins to slowly drag you back despite your terrified moans and futile struggles.

And the tentacles are slowly reaching up my unnecessarily short schoolgirl skirt and touching me in my naughty place. It's tickling me there. It's about to enter. What can I do. What will this horrible monster do to me. I need an adult. Tentacle monsters Tentacle rape tentaclisphylum Molluscaclass Cephalopoda were once sea creatures, related to the octopus and the squid. In fact, the octopussy, which is a cousin of the octopus and is named for the Tentacle rape vaginas within its eight tentacles, is a direct ancestor of the tentacle monster.

Primordial tentacle monsters came out of the seas raping each other and whatever small critters they could get their appendages on, after the Chicxulub meteor impact scrambled their brains 65 million years ago, the dinosaurs having become newly extinct. No, Evolved. Their lust has continued Tentacle rape ever since.

Tentacle monsters were first utilized by humanity during the brutal Reign of Cthulhu following the bloody period of the Revolution as Nude promis method of cleaning chimneys.

Tentacle monsters were Benq w1300 review by Cthulhu-masters during the era to sweep out the ashes in crematories chimneys after the beheaded loyalists were burned. Jacobin commoners also hired the monsters to clean their chimneys as well.

However, on Christmas Eve,the famous Jacobin Picard family the forefathers of the Tentacle rape Captain Jean Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise was having their chimney cleaned by a tentacle monster when suddenly a fat man - Santa Clause - Tentacle rape to slide down the chimney to deliver the presents. However, due to Santa's great girth, he became stuck in the chimney, and the tentacle monster, unsure of what the hell Tentacle rape was feeling, probed in curious confusion.

Needless to say, Santa's red snow pants, Barney Dragon sinker ps vita, and chocolate thong did little to impede the squirming tentacles.

After pulling out a ham sandwich, three elves, Halloween cosplay male subordinate clauseand this article from Santa's assholethe tentacle monster finally pushed Santa out through the chimney and onto the roof.

Clenching in bitter humiliation and embarrassment, Santa trapped the monster's squirmy appendages in his butt although other sources claim he clamped his butt because the hentai-izer may have donkey-punched Santa. Throwing himself on his sleigh, Santa commanded his reindeers to fly as far from this land as possible, before daylight could reveal Tentacle rape the French his humiliation.

The monster eventually came loose and fell to the island of Allstream technical consultants. Well, your body may enjoy it, but you are obligated to at least verbally protest having your insides get rearranged by shuffling tentacles. Generally, aftereffects of tentacle rape include the following rather horrible Tentacle rape. Kono ookikute youma ni hai-tanai yo. Well, she always appears equipped with a bloody chain saw, so to say Here are a Tentacle rape things to keep in mind when being tentacle raped.

The monster hates that. Before they touch you on your vagina your instant weakness pointyou can attempt to fight the tentacle monster. When doing so, remember to:. So it happened. That tentacle monster raped you, impregnated you with his devilish offspring, and left.

You're screwedand can't do anything. However, we have some tips on how you can either make this a better experience, or just pass the time and make it go by faster. From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia. If caught reading this page, roll over and play dead. This HowTo has been featured on the HowTo: namespace.

Want to know HowTo get your own HowTo featured. Just write something good. Namespaces HowTo Talk. Views Read Edit View history. In other languages. This page was last edited on 17 Augustat Content is available under a Creative Commons License. Privacy policy About Uncyclopedia Disclaimers Mobile view. Catgirls, Hentai and furries, Oh my.

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